I've been through a lot really. Sometimes I'm amazed with myself because I'm able to cope and hold on for so long despite all the work, sleepless nights. I thought I would breakdown at anytime during January because really, if you had seen me that time, you would know how much I went through. But I stayed strong through it all. Just yesterday after coming back from the Compassion Walk, which was an amazing experience by the way. I learned a lot along the way. I talked to Juan, the best person I can go to for any advice in the world. I'm amazed with her. I told her everything that has been in my mind for so long, everything that I've been holding back.
She just told me to let go of everything and surrender them to God. I know I've been away from God for quite some time. I've been so busy with so many things that I neglected my prayers and I feel like I'm so far away from God. I forgot what is it like to be so into Him and talk to Him and just give myself wholeheartedly to Him. I havent felt that for so so long. I want to go to church everyday so badly to pray, to meditate, to spend some time with God but I dont have the time and transportation. Maybe that is why I have been so away from God.
Today, I received a shocking news. And when I came home, after I got off the phone with a friend, I just broke down. I cried. Cried like I never cried so much in so long. I kept thinking to myself 'Why am I such a bad friend? Why did I fail in being a good example to my siblings? Why do I always have to please others? Why do I always let my parents down? Why am I not a responsible person? Why Why Why" and all the other questions kept lingering in my mind. I told Juan everything and she asked me to listen to this.
Joel Osteen - God Is In Control Of The Storm
Yes, its 30 minutes. But trust me, listening to this will make you feel so much better. It made me feel a whole lot better. I am learning to let go of things slowly and live for God. He will always be there no matter what. No matter how far we've gone, no matter how we try to hide, God will still find us. He is always there, waiting for us. I know that now. It took me a while to get that, but I am slowly trying to mend the pieces of me which are broken. I'm trying to make God the main person in my life again. I am trying to go back to Him. Because with God, anything is possible. He alone knows the plans He has for you. He will never let you fall, even if He does, He wants you to know that He is there to help you get back up. He is always, always there. You just have to trust in Him and surrender everything to Him. God is in control.
I hope and pray with this, I can go through my exams. Whatever it is, I am surrendering everything to God. I know I havent studied anything yet, but I am slowly doing it now. Whatever happens, I'll leave it all to God. He knows whats best for me.
Thanks for reading guys. Always remember to pray. Have a good week! God bless :)
Quit mourning over what you've lost
Let go of what didn't work out
Forgive the people that hurt you
- Joel Osteen