Thursday, November 29, 2012

Ed Sheeran

I always keep thinking what it'll be like to have a boyfriend again one day. As some of you might know, I had one but it didnt work out. Being a girl, I've always wanted 'the perfect guy' who would be there whenever I need him to, during my good times and bad. I was driving home one day when this thought crossed my mind. I thought, 'I wished I had someone I could express my happiness to, my sadness to. Someone I can be myself with around them and everything'. 

But they say, reality bites. And it does. Because the fact is, i'm still alone. At times, I convince myself that I can live independently, that I can go through life alone because I have practically planned my life out. I know what I want to do and what I want to achieve in life. I dream of places that I want to go and the things that i'll do there like volunteer and help out with charity and such things like that. I've got it all planned. And the whole plan, I imagined going through it alone and i'm okay with it.
Then sometimes i'll wonder what it'll be like to have someone beside me where I can share all those moments with. And it sucks. It sucks because it gets into my head and I'll be thinking about it all the time. But because i've gotten so used to being rejected by people, i've convinced myself that i'm okay alone and I can go through life alone. But who am I kidding right? We all need someone at the end of the day.

People keep saying i'm nice, i'm patient, i'm pretty, a guy would be lucky to have me, i'm this and that. But if i'm really everything that they said, then why am I still alone? Why am sitting here writing this sad post? So yeahhh.. Because of all this, i'm quite sure that i'm better off alone. Again, who am I kidding?

Just today, I was talking with my housemates about this topic. On love, relationship, marriage and such. Even they said that no matter what, we all need someone at the end of the day. I told them I should start writing poems again because I missed writing them and its the other place besides my blog and Twitter where I can express myself and my imagination. Then, I showed her the poems I wrote before and after reading she said this to me, "Christina, you're so talented. I felt like I was reading a real poet's poem. And after writing all this, you said you can live alone? You're just lying to yourself." 

Just like that, those words struck my heart like a sharp knife piercing through it and I choked up. Am I lying to myself? Am I? I dont know either. I'm confused. I know i'm not supposed to think about all this now but sometimes we cant help but to think about it right? Which is why it brought me here to write about all this stuff. Maybe it doesnt make sense to you and it means nothing to you when you read it. But its been kinda hard on me and I pray to God everyday to give me the strength to go through life and be independent and so far, i'm doing okay. So I guess for now I have nothing to worry about. 

Well, thats about it. Thanks for reading if you did read everything. Whatever your situation is, always remember to pray and that God is there. Never ever forget God. Because when all else fail, and when no one else is there to be with you, God is there. He is always, always there. And girls, remember, you can live by your own. You're strong and independent. I know thoughts like mine may cross your mind sometimes but its up to you to decide what you want in life. Okay? :) 


Saturday, November 24, 2012

only heaven knows

I originally wanted to write something about Literature and my point of view on it and also about the first week of classes. But I dont know why I suddenly didnt feel like it. The sudden melancholy filled me up and there goes my mood. Soon okay soon! 

Anyway, here's the song that put me in the mood I am in now. 

Have a good week everyone! :)

Its time to say goodbye.

Thursday, November 15, 2012

thank you Jesus!

I am so so happy and beyond words right now. Remember I was telling you my results would be out today. Its out! And guess what? I made it to the Dean's List!! I can't express how happy I am right now. But that was only for one semester. The next semester I dropped down a bit due to playing around too much and last minute studying and handing in assignments. Nevertheless, I'm so proud of myself and my achievement. I definitely have to buck up for the next semester. And I know I can, Lord. I never lost faith in You and I never will. Thank You for everything :') 

Wednesday, November 14, 2012

flaws and other things.

I'm currently being an awesome multitask-er by blogging and watching Kuch Kuch Hota Hai. Haha. I just felt like blogging about a few stuffs today. I've been thinking a lot lately. Actually, I think a lot everytime. There's always things constantly filling up my mind and keeps me wondering. Like, have you ever thought why are there murderers, thieves and such in the world? Or why are there such poverty in different countries although people can spend millions and billions of money to build skyscrapers, monuments and such stuff. And last, is the world really gonna end this year? So yeah, I have a very weird brain. I think about random stuffs all the time. I bet you do too right? 

1. Flaws
As human beings, all of us have flaws right? I mean, there sure is something that will be wrong with you. LOL. Okay, that came out wrong. But what i'm trying to say is that, we aren't perfect. Only God is. And we definitely will have flaws. But being human is being able to see the imperfection in others. That is what makes us human. Beneath all those flaws, we should be able to see the good in others and look beyond they're flaws and accept people for who they are. So, be proud of your flaws because it is that which makes you, you! 

2. English
Right, English. Being an English trainee teacher, my English is supposed to be impeccable and close to perfect. But, is it? No, i'm not even close to having the perfect English. In fact, I don't think anyone in this world can speak perfect English. I mean, come on. Do you really think there is someone out there who knows every single word in the English dictionary? If there is, well hats off to that person. I find it rather annoying when I make a mistake in speaking and someone says "English teacher and cannot speak proper English". If I was rude and sarcastic, I would answer them back "And your English happen to be perfect is it?". But no, I prefer to keep silent and 'treasure all these things in my heart' or blog about it. Some people are just not worth arguing with. So, think again before you decide to yell at someone or correct their English in a rude way. Be sure to look at yourself first before correcting others. I mean, if you wanna correct someone's English, you can. But do it in a polite and correct way and not offend the other person.

3. Gossiping  
Ah yes, gossiping. None of us can run away from gossiping. And people who says girls are the biggest gossipers, you need correction man, because guys are just the same as girls when it comes to gossiping. From my perspective, gossiping isn't bad. I mean, we are bound to do it anyway. But if you gossip and put others down, then its wrong. No matter how bad that person is, you cannot just put someone down like that. Again, you have to look at your own self first before putting down someone. Because, you wouldnt know if someone is talking behind your back about you. If you do good to others and be good to others, then you would be rewarded with good things. I used to be the person who talked bad about others. Then I came to realize this and I toned down a little. Think about it. 

I guess that is all. Unless something else crosses my mind then I'll come back here to blog about it or tweet about it. Haha. Well, in other news, new semester starts next Monday and results should be out tomorrow or Friday latest. I'm scared as hell I swear. I just hope everything goes well. Oh, and the Jamboree is this Friday too! Here's to a hectic weekend ahead! 

Lastly, I urge all of you to pray. Whether you are a Muslim, a Hindu, a Buddhist, a Punjabi, a Protestant or a Catholic. I urge every single one of you out there who is reading this to pray. We will never know what is going to happen tomorrow and God has every answer to our prayers. The world is changing, guys. Too many things are happening around us nowadays. Stop fighting, discriminating others and reflect on yourself. Prayer is the most powerful thing that you can give. Always pray and ask God for forgiveness and remember to forgive others as well. 

Have a good week everyone! :)