Sunday, September 30, 2012

faith to believe

We pray for blessings
We pray for peace
Comfort for family, protection while we sleep
We pray for healing, for prosperity
We pray for Your mighty hand to ease our suffering
All the while, You hear each spoken need
Yet love is way too much to give us lesser things

'Cause what if your blessings come through raindrops
What if Your healing comes through tears
What if a thousand sleepless nights are what it takes to know You're near
What if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise

We pray for wisdom
Your voice to hear
We cry in anger when we cannot feel You near
We doubt your goodness, we doubt your love
As if every promise from Your Word is not enough
All the while, You hear each desperate plea
And long that we'd have faith to believe

When friends betray us
When darkness seems to win
We know that pain reminds this heart
That this is not our home

What if my greatest disappointments
Or the aching of this life
Is the revealing of a greater thirst this world can't satisfy
What if trials of this life
The rain, the storms, the hardest nights
Are your mercies in disguise

*breathe in, breathe out*
I can do this. I know I can.

Friday, September 28, 2012

a girl I happen to know

Hi everyone! How is your week coming along? Well, its the weekend already technically. And boy am I glad it is, I'm so glad to be home. It seems like its been forever since I last came home. I've been having one of the toughest week of the semester simply because so many things was going on, there was so much of work to be done and finals is next week, but I havent even started studying yet. Its exhausting, really! I cant wait for holidays. All I wanna do is, dream, revamp my room, dance, sing, read books, listen to songs, watch movies and tv series all day long. I really need that. Of course, I need a vacation, but I think those simple things will do. 

Anyway, the reason I decided to blog was because of a girl. No wait, i'm straight okay! Hahaha. I'm sure you've seen her name a couple of times in my blog. Her name is, Juan Margrita. She's like the sister I never had, the best adviser in the world, she's always there when I need her and she's my soulmate! The thing that triggered me to blog about her was because of what I saw in church earlier.

We have this monthly Youth Awakening in church every last Friday of the month. This month was about reaching out to migrants around us. There were 2 Myanmar guys, William and Stephen who joined us to share about their experience in Burma and their stay here. People would normally hesitate to go up to someone and speak. But Juan, while everyone was busy standing with their friends, including me, she went up beside Stephen to keep him company and to make him feel welcomed. I was really touched by that. No one bothered to do that, not even me. But she had the heart to do that, and that made me smile. 

Juan is the type of person who doesnt really care about what people think of her and she does what she have to. She is down to earth and the most humble person I know. She doesnt care about materialistic items that people crave for so much in the world today.  She is a compassionate person who cares about people's feelings. She loves God with her life and her family too. Oh, and you should hear her sing. She's awesome! And she is a kick ass writer too! This girl rocks! I swear if I was a guy, she would be my first and my last choice. 

She is always, ALWAYS there for me whenever I need someone to talk to or whenever i'm down. I honestly dont know what I would do without her. This blog post is for you, Juan. You know I love you long time and thank you for always being there for me. You know I got your back too :) *hugs*

P.S Finals is next week! Wish me luck! :)

this is my beloved, Juan :)

Please remember....

Tuesday, September 11, 2012


Hello everyone! Here I am sitting alone in this empty hall while all my other housemates are busy doing their own work. I had a strong urge to blog today because I had a lot of things going on in my mind as I was walking in campus and while I was in class. I hope I dont offend anyone if you happen to read this. This is my mere opinion of what I see and what I can judge. Of course, everyone have their own opinions. 

My sister is sitting for her UPSR today, so I woke up early this morning to call her and wish her all the best. I sat on my bed and spoke to God in silence. It felt so good sitting on the bed, enjoying the cool weather even with only a fan. I always feel that little bit of innocence in a person when they wake up in the morning. So yeah, this morning, as I was sitting on the bed, with my mind wondering off elsewhere, I spoke to God. I felt better and I continued the rest of the day with a smile on my face. 

We didnt have Sociolinguistics class today because our lecturer was feeling under the weather. In the next class, I was observing a few people and their characters and I learned a lot of things today about people. There's the people who loves to sit all by themselves in class. Then there's the people who likes sitting beside their close friends. There's also people who sits beside the girl or boy they like and tries to impress them. There's also people who sits beside another person because they have to, or for their own benefit. 

We meet many kind of people daily and as much as we disagree with this statement, people do change. It may be because of incidents that happened in their lives or maybe they just change. I changed too. I know for a fact, I wasnt the person I was 4 - 5 years ago. It is a good thing for me though. I feel that i've changed to be a better person. I am now more braver, more happy-go-lucky, more mature and I can think for myself to know what is good and what is bad. 

I know what i'm blogging now doesnt really connect with whatever I am trying to say. Actually, I dont even know what i'm trying to say. LOL. I just felt like blogging and crapping stuff here that I see everyday. Most of the time, I would tweet about it but I thought for a change, maybe I should blog about it. I wanted to blog about more stuff, but I just forgot about it. Short term memory lost :p 

Besides that, when you get rejected by someone, do you continue going after them or do you just back off and give up? Thats one answer i've been trying to find for the past few months. And because I spoke to God last night and this morning, I had my answer. I always read about people saying that God speaks to them and they can hear God's voice. I never got that, and I am kinda sad. But for me, God speaks to me in different ways. Maybe through a song or through a movie. I just can somehow get that message and I would smile to myself because I know I got my answer. 

So as I was saying, the answer that I got was, to back off. You dont have to go after the same person again and again when clearly that person has already shook you off. You deserve better. It doesnt mean you're not good enough, you are good. Its just that the person who rejected you couldnt see what they were missing, they couldnt see the good in you. God made you in his own hands. He will definitely grant you happiness. Maybe not through getting the boy you like, but through other things. So, dont worry and be bold. You are worth it. 

I think i've crapped enough. I dont even know why did I talk about all this. Haha. Sorry if you had to read about the whole long and boring post. Oh, and ignore the title. I just thought of that name out of a sudden and decided to name that as the title. Haha. See you again soon everyone! :) 

Btw, do check out this song by Daughtry - Start Of Something Good. Its been my theme song for the whole week :) 

Sunday, September 2, 2012

times are hard

how do you forget someone who has given you so much to remember? 

when you're too in love to let it go

Saturday, September 1, 2012

When you lose something you can't replace

I've been listening to this song for the past few days for my self therapy. I don't know why, i'm just feeling so down and uneasy these past few days. I always get that tight knot in my throat and I feel like bursting out crying every single time. I find myself thinking too much about unnecessary things and I worry too much. This is like the story of my life in the song. Really. I know many people can relate to it. I guess i'm just having a good and bad week thats all. 

When you try your best, but you dont succeed
When you get what you want but not what you need
When you feel so tired but you cant sleep
Stuck in reverse

And the tears come streaming down your face
When you lose something you cant replace
When you love someone but it goes to waste
Could it be worse?

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you

And high up above or down below
When you too in love to let it go
But if you never try you'll never know 
Just what you're worth

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you

Tears stream down your face

When you lose something you cannot replace
Tears stream down your face
And I..

Tears stream down your face
When you lose something you cannot replace
Tears stream down your face
And I..

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you

why am I still waiting?