Friday, November 19, 2010

you're the inspiration..

hello again! i'm in a depressed mood right now okay.. simply because MY RESULTS SUCKED!! and i'm telling you, it sucked real bad.. Its my fault la for not studying and playing the fool all the time.. and my so called last min studying didnt really help either.. it made it worst in fact.. ok la not worst, it did help a little but obviously not a lot... right, i'm talking crap again..


you know the saying, "do your best and leave the rest to God"? well, i did not do my best and thats why God didnt give me the best.. i'm not blaming Him, i'm blaming myself.. and of course, who else wouldnt be pissed at me if it weren't my dad.. i was dreading to not go to the car and see him coz of my results coz i know i'll be getting it left and right in my face.. i even thought of lying and saying that the results is postponed to next week only thinking that he'll forget it sooner or later..


but, i couldnt lie, i just couldnt.. especially daddy.. and about this matter sumore.. if it wasnt for him and mummy, i wouldnt even be where i am today.. so, when i showed him my results, i got it nicely la.. like the journey from shah alam to kajang would never end because my dad kept going on and on and on.. i nearly burst out into tears every minute but i just fought back my feelings..


my dad said to me a few things which made me realize a lot of things.. i am lazy, i spend too much time on the internet, not for education but other stuff instead, i never study enough, i have high expectations of myself... and do i deserve what i got? haizzz.. then my dad told me about himself and what he has gone through to reach what he has achieved today and for what he is today.. thinking back, i remembered when i went for a deepavali visit to my dad's friends house, one of the uncle which i never knew before came and told me about daddy.. and he told me about daddy, all i could feel is the pride is being my father's daughter.. but i dont think i'm even half of what he is..


i'm like way way below.. i dont think i'll ever be able to achieve the kind of success my father has done and for what he is today.. one lesson i learnt from this is that, i should never give up and not take things lightly.. my parents have worked so hard to put me in a university.. not many people out there are lucky enough to have that.. and i seriously thank God for my parents and everything they have given me.. from the next sem onwards, no more facebook, no twitter, no tumblr and maybe no blogger for weekdays till i come back for the weekends.. and its gonna remain that way..


i'm not gonna look back and regret on all the mistakes i have done anymore. instead, i'm gonna look forward and do my best to reach the top.. if daddy can do it, then i can do it too.. and i know and i'll always be my daddy's girl.. though he never says that now to me, i know somehow and i believe that he still does somewhere in him.. he's my inspiration and will always be.. they say, when you fall, you get back up and dont give up till you reach the top.. and thats where i'm heading right now.. if it werent for daddy, i dont think i'll be writing this post and my brains will be still like under the coconut shell..


thats all i wanna say, i hope its not just saying and not doing.. i will do my best to follow what i am determined to do.. see u later people! =)


daddy and i..
in sabah last year.. =)

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